Is Your Home A Garden of Paradise
Is Your Home A Garden of Paradise
Paradise is a dwelling free from all types of difficulties and calamities, surrounded by peace, comfort and tranquillity. If all these qualities are found in one single home then we can agree that it is a garden of Paradise in this world. Remember! Happiness, contentment and gratification in the home solely lies on the shoulders of the husband & wife, and only achieved if the relationship between husband & wife are ethical together with the Tarbiyyah of the children (i.e. the education and upbringing)
Advice For The Husband
From time to time, present gifts to the wife. This will please her very much. When distressed or in illness don‟t ignore her or make a face. This will upset her; instead discuss the problem with her so that you may resolve it together.
Always express your love to her and value it, therein lies the joy of life.
Never scold or show anger towards her in front of others, she will remember it for the rest of her life.
Never praise or describe the beauty and character of another woman to her face, she will feel disgraced and a sense of guilt.
Never be unforthcoming and reserved, this will create doubt and uncertainty in her heart.
Never make offensive and derogatory remarks; eventually she will become careless of your likes and dislikes.
Never see her as only a “mother of my children” she will detest you and become callous.
Don‟t always be stubborn in proving your point but also listen to the wife.
Never talk to her in such a way that she feels you are hiding something, this will irritate and annoy her a great deal.
When making a promise to her, fulfil it. A Muslim never breaks a promise.
If the wife is not knowledgeable or educated, do not scorn her, it will not resolve the dilemma at hand, Instead make arrangements for her education.
Never keep mentioning your capabilities or force your arrogance on her, she will sooner or later think of you as a madman. Remember, self praise is no praise.
Never portray yourself as always wealthy or never in need of money. Tell her the truth so she may spend the money wisely and accordingly.
If the wife likes to see you dressed in decent clothing, then present yourself in such a manner. Inappropriate presentation can cause problems.
Never be patronising or condescending towards the wife. She is not your student or disciple.
Advice For The Wife
When the Husband enters the house, greet him with a smile and admonish him to do salaam, so that love and blessings engulf the house. If the Husband comes home late at night, do not become upset and distant. Give him a chance to explain himself.
Don‟t open the book of complaints as soon as he enters the house.
Inform the Husband of the children‟s well being so that he may do their Tarbiyyah consequently.
Never deceive your Husband in money related matters; he may say nothing though aware of it.
Don‟t make useless conversations, if he is silent he maybe troubled therefore try pleasing him.
If the Husband is busy in some work, do not bother him by interfering or interrupting.
Do not be extravagant. Never force him to earn more money for futile materialism and greed. E.g.: expensive jewellery, clothes, shoes etc.
Never praise or describe the beauty and character of another man.
Do not abuse him verbally, physically or to others in his absence.
Do not be doubtful or do any action to make him doubt you.
Be responsible in making sure his clothes are always clean. Do not let him leave the house with dirty clothes.
Advice For Husband and Wife
Help one another in the matters of Deen and be a supporting pillar in matters of the world.
Be forgiving, understanding, helpful and patient towards each other.
Have a big heart. Have a clean heart.
Respect each other‟s parents. Treat them as your own.
Do not fight verbally or physically (especially in front of your children)
Do not make your home a battle ground for debates. This has a very bad consequence on the children.
Always consult one another frequently regarding the well being of your children especially in matters pertaining to marriage, earning halaal, abstaining from Haraam etc.
Always make dua to Allah to stay steadfast on Deen and remain Husband & Wife till your last breath.
Make a system of taleem and tarbiyyah daily or once a week in your home, the survival of Deen and blessings in your home depend on it.
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