Ideal Pious Husband and Wife

Posted in Labels: | at 11:54 AM
 Ideal Pious Wife
The Marriage to her is one half of the deen,
The benefit Allah has put in her is yet to be seen.
She wears her hijab for her Lord, to please and obey,
She turns to Allah for salaah at least five times each day.
She prays in the night and makes sure to awake you,
And sprinkles you with water if sleep should overtake you.
She protects her chastity with firmness because she does not desire,
To displease Allah and end up in the tormenting fire.
She asks the people who know when matters need to be rectified,
She is not blinded by self righteousness and foolish pride.
She is humble and kind to her husband as Allah has commanded,
Never leaving him alone, isolated, nor stranded.
She opens her mouth only to say what is best,
Not questioning her husband when he makes a request.
She takes care of herself and never ceases to try,
To beautify herself so to please his eye.
She is a pleasure Allah has given to us in this life,
Be thankful to Allaah alone for His blessing, THE PIOUS WIFE.

Ideal Pious Husband 
The Marriage to him is one half of the deen,
To please Allah (swt) is more than a dream.
He wears his beard for his Lord, to please and obey,
He turns to Allah (swt) for Salah at least five times a day.
He prays in the night and makes sure to wake you,
And strives during daylight to provide and protect you.
He lowers his gaze with firmness because he does not desire,
To displease Allah (swt) and face His just ire,
He asks advice from the ummah, and his wife too,
Before making decisions that he might later rue.
To his wife he is humble and always most kind,
Sharing his burdens with strength and clear mind.
He opens his mouth only to say what is best,
Weighing all options ‘fore denying a request.
He takes care of himself and family too
Knowing that Allah (swt) will see them through.
He is a pleasure from Allah (swt) above
Be thankful to Allah (swt) and His blessings through love.
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Women in Society

Posted in Labels: | at 11:42 AM

“It is really amazing and unfortunate how the media and modern civilization has oppressed women.  Pictures of women are portrayed in such a way that every women compelled that they must meet that standard. On billboards and advertisements, where ever you look such pictures are placed that eventually fixes a stereotype in a man’s mind, that this is what he should  expect in a women.
As a result, a woman now will do all in her power to be forced to make herself fit into that standard, thinking that otherwise she will be rejected in society.  She now starts to spend excesses of time, effort and money to look after her figure, looks, hair , attire.  All this for whom?
In times before, because this bombardment of stereotype never existed a women was more free to live a natural life”.
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A NON MUSLIM WOMAN EXPERIMENTS WITH 'HIJAB'

Posted in Labels: | at 10:01 AM

Kathy Chin - A Chinese American
I walked down the street in my long white dress and inch-long, black hair one afternoon, and truck drivers whistled and shouted obscenities at me. I felt defeated. I had just stepped out of a hair salon. I had cut my hair short, telling the hairdresser to trim it as she would a cut a man's hair. I sat numbly as my hairdresser skilfully sheared into my shoulderlength hair with her scissors, asking me with every inch she cut off if; I was freaking out yet. I wasn't freaking out, but I felt self-mutilated.
I WAS OBLITERATING MY FEMININITY
It wasn't just another haircut. It meant so much more. I was trying to appear androgynous by cutting my hair. I wanted to obliterate by femininity. Yet that did not prevent some men from treating me as a sex object. I was mistaken. It was not my femininity that was problematic, but my sexuality, or rather the sexuality that some men had ascribed to me based on my biological sex. They reacted to me as they saw me and not as I truly am.
Why should it even matter how they see me, as long as I know who I am? But it does.
I believe that men who see women as only sexual beings often commit violence against them, such as rape and battery.
Sexual abuse and assault are not only my fears, but my reality. I was molested and raped. My experiences with men who violated me have made me angry and frustrated.
How do I stop the violence? How do I prevent men from seeing me as an object rather than a female? How do I stop them from equating the two? How do I proceed with life after experiencing what others only dread? The experiences have left me with questions about my identity. Am I just another Chinese-American female? I used to think that I have to arrive at a conclusion about who I am, but now I realize that my identity is constantly evolving.
MY EXPERIENCE OF BEING “HIJABED”
One experience that was particularly educational was when I “dressed up” as a Muslim woman for a drive along Crenshaw Boulevard with three Muslim men as part of a newsmagazine project. I wore a white, long-sleeved cotton shirt, and a flowery silk scarf that covered my head, which I borrowed from a Muslim woman. Not only did I look the part, I believed I felt the part. Of course, I wouldn't really know what it feels like to be Hijabed-I coined this word for the lack of a better term-everyday, because I was not raised with Islamic teachings.
However, people perceived me as a Muslim woman and did not treat me as a sexual being by making cruel remarks. I noticed that men's eyes did not glide over my body as has happened when I wasn't Hijabed. I was fully clothed, exposing only my face. I remembered walking into an Islamic centre and an African-American gentleman inside addressed me as “sister”, and asked where I came from. I told him I was originally from China. That didn't seem to matter. He respected me and assumed I was Muslim. I didn't know how to break the news to him because I wasn't sure if I was or not.
I walked into the store that sold African jewellery and furniture and another gentleman asked me as I was walking out if I was Muslim. I looked at him and smiled, not knowing how to respond. I chose not to answer.
BEING HIJABED CHANGED OTHERS' PERCEPTION OF ME
Outside the store, I asked one of the Muslim men I was with, “Am I Muslim?” He explained that everything that breathes and submits is. I have concluded that I may be and just don't know it. I haven't labelled myself as such yet. I don't know enough about Islam to assert that I am Muslim.
HIJAB AS OPPRESSION: A SUPERFICIAL AND MISGUIDED VIEW
I consciously chose to be Hijabed because I was searching for respect from men. Initially, as both a Women's Studies major and a thinking female, I bought into the Western view that the wearing of a scarf is oppressive. After this experience and much reflection, I have arrived at the conclusion that such a view is superficial and misguided.
THE MOST LIBERATING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE
I covered up that day out of choice, and it was the most liberating experience of my life. I now see alternatives to being a woman. I discovered that the way I dress dictated others' reaction towards me. It saddens me that this is a reality. It is a reality that I have accepted, and chose to conquer rather than be conquered by it. It was my sexuality that I covered, not my femininity. The covering of the former allowed the liberation of the latter.
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AHAADITH REGARDING PREGNANCY AND BREASTFEEDING

Posted in Labels: | at 9:46 AM

A selection of Ahâdîth from Kanzul ‘Ummâl
Rasûlullâh sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: "The reward that a woman receives from the time that she falls pregnant until she delivers the child and commences breast-feeding is equal to the person who is guarding the borders of the Islamic state and who has to be ever ready to wage jihâd. If this woman dies in the course of this period, she will receive the reward of a martyr." Rasûlullâh sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: "When a woman breast-feeds her child, the reward that she receives for every sip is as if she has given life to a dead person. When she commences breast-feeding, an angel taps her on her back (a form of congratulation) and says to her: 'All your past sins are forgiven. Now whatever you do will be recorded from the very beginning.'" That is, the sins that you may commit will be written for the future. Minor sins are referred to in this context. However, having one's minor sins forgiven is no small feat. Rasûlullâh sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam addressed women and said: "Aren't you pleased that when a woman falls pregnant through her husband and he is happy with her falling pregnant, she will receive a reward equal to a person fasting in the path of Allah and engaging in ‘ibâdah at night in the path of Allah? When she experiences labour pains, the things which are kept in store for her and which will provide her with comfort are not known to all those in the heavens and the earth. Thereafter when the child is born, for every drop
of milk that he drinks and each time that he sucks her breast, one reward will be recorded in her favour. When the mother has to wake up at night on account of the child, she will receive the reward of freeing 70 slaves in the path of Allah. O Salâmat! Do you know who these women are? They are those who, despite being pious and delicately brought up, are  obedient to their husbands and are not ungrateful to them.
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The Greatest Women Who Ever Lived

Posted in Labels: | at 10:40 AM
Sparkling gems in their own times, they continue to glisten beyond their age, making their appeal everlasting...Each one a legend in her own right, they were declared the best of women by the Last Prophet (SAW)…So what were the special characteristics these illustrious women had and how can we follow in their footsteps in our times? Fatima Barakatullah looks for answers and finds inspiration and guidance.
What are the most famous women of today celebrated for? Those held up as role models for the modern woman include actresses, singers, footballers WAGs (wives and girlfriends) and glamour models – all celebrated for their physical appeal. Very rarely will a woman be deemed ‘successful’ for other than what is really just superficial and then, as is often the case, when she ages and her physical features fade, she will fall out of favour with the media and younger women will replace her as the icons of their era.
But Allah shows us in His Book that a woman is so much more than the outer shell that is her body. Our history is replete with examples of great women who were gems of their times and whose sparkling appeal is timeless. Islam defines for us that the truly successful are those of integrity, who fulfil the purpose of their creation and rise to the challenges that are presented to them throughout life with tenacity, thereby gaining the pleasure of their Creator and everlasting victory in the next life.
The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said in an authentic Hadeeth:
“The best women from the people of Jannah are Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, Fatima daughter of Muhammad, Aasiya bint Muzaahim – the Wife of Pharoah and Mary daughter of Imran, may Allah be pleased with them all.”
In fact Allah specifically mentions two of these great women in the Qur’an, as role models for believing men as well as women. In Surat ut-Tahreem Allah says:
“And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe: The wife of Pharaoh, when she said: “My Lord! Build for me a home with you in Paradise, and save me from the Pharaoh and his actions, and save me from the people who are oppressors.
And Maryam, the daughter of Imran who guarded her chastity. And we breathed into the sleeve of her garment through our Ruh, and she testified to the truth of the words of her Lord and believed in His books and was of those who are obedient to Allah.”
So what were the characteristics that made them worthy of such accolades? What made Allah and His Messenger single out these women above all others? And more importantly, how can we benefit and learn from their example?
They affirmed the Truth immediately
The four greatest women submitted to the Truth and to the commands of Allah immediate, without any hesitation. We see from their stories that Mariam accepted the huge task that Allah had set for her, of going through pregnancy and childbirth by herself, unsupported by a man and then of presenting her child to the people who would inevitably accuse her of being unchaste.
Khadijah accepted Islam immediately and was the first Muslimah. When the Prophet returned from Mount Noor having received the first revelation from Angel Jibreel, it was Khadijah who immediately accepted his message and believed in him even though he himself was shaken by the event.
Lesson I: Today, there is a culture amongst us of ‘Fatwa Shopping’. In other words, when an Islamic ruling makes us feel uncomfortable, instead of saying ‘We hear and we obey’, we just go and ask someone who has another opinion until we find the opinion that is most akin to our own desires. We must become women who, when faced with the truth in any matter, sincerely accept it and submit without hesitation.
They had a strong relationship with Allah
Their knowledge of Allah and His attributes made them close to Him. When the Prophet returned from the Cave of Hira, fearing something bad had happened to him Khadijah knew Allah would never forsake him. She said: “Allah would never humiliate you, for you are good to your relatives, you are true to your word, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are in distress.” She knew that Allah is Just and does not humiliate the righteous.
Aasiya knew when Pharaoh was torturing her to turn her from her faith, that Allah could hear her cries and her du’a, she asked Allah to build for her, with Him a house in Paradise. During her ordeal, Allah showed her house in Paradise to her, which made her smile, just as she was martyred at the hands of her husband.
Mariam had such a close relationship to her Lord that he would provide her with the fruits of the Summer in the Winter and the fruits of the Winter in Summer. When the Prophet Zakariyyah (AS) saw this he quizzed her about the origin of the food she always had. She said, “This is from Allah. Verily, Allah provides sustenance to whomsoever He wills without limit.”
Lesson II: If we are to become close to Allah we too must have correct knowledge of Him and His names and attributes and mention Him often through His Dhikr. If we remember Him much in times of ease, only then will we be able to remember Him in times of difficulty.
They had Qunoot
Allah describes the True Believing women as being Qaanitaat and described Maryam in particular as having the characteristic of Qunoot. He says in Surah Aal Imran, Aayah 43:
“O Maryam! Submit yourself with obedience (Uqnuti) to your Lord and prostrate yourself, and bow down along with those who bow down.”
Qunoot means to stand for long periods in prayer and this was particularly a characteristic of Maryam and Fatima. Qunoot also means to be devoutly obedient and to submit to Allah.
Lesson III: We must become true worshippers of Allah, not only striving to establish our prayers, but striving to concentrate and to lengthen our prayers, in particular, the Night Prayer (tahajjud). We must have soft hearts that accept Allah’s commands and obey him with devotion.
They supported the Believing men in their lives
Aasiya saved the baby Musa from Pharoah and brought him up & believed in him. Mariam was pivotal to the message of Eesa and she brought him to the people as a sign from Allah. Fatima defended her father when the idolators in Makkah threw the blood and carcass of a dead camel on her father’s back while he prayed. She removed the filth and stood up to the men who had attacked her father, only to be slapped in the face by Abu Jahl.
Khadijah stood by the Prophet (saw) and spent her wealth for the sake of his message. She endured the difficult boycott period when the Muslims and their supporters were forced to dwell in a valley away from the people of Makkah and were refused food or trade. The Muslims used to eat the leaves of the trees due to the extreme state of poverty they were in. Khadijah endured these hardships and stood by the Prophet (saw).
Lesson IV: We must support our men folk and help them to be ‘real men’. We must stand by them in times of difficulty and strengthen them when they feel weak in their Iman. It’s amazing the effect that a woman can have on a man’s self-esteem and confidence. Insha Allah, we will be rewarded for helping our men to be better servants of Allah.
They had Courage
Fatima was often seen in the wars that the Muslims fought, treating the wounded and stood up to Abu Jahl when he attacked the Prophet (saw). Mariam had the courage to bring Eesa to people after her difficult ordeal. She knew they would accuse her of being unchaste, yet she bravely obeyed Allah’s command. Khadijah had the courage to follow and encourage the Prophet (saw) in his mission even though she endured hardship due to it. Aasiyah courageously stood up to Pharoah, the greatest tyrant of that time and refused to become a disbeliever.
Lesson V: We have to be prepared to do difficult things in our lives. We must have the courage to speak out to defend the oppressed and to tell people about our Deen without watering it down and we must be prepared to sacrifice anything for the sake of the Truth.
They had Istiqamah and Sabr
Istiqamah means to stand firm upon the straight path and sabr is patient perseverance. In other words, they tenaciously held on to the truth come what may.
Asiyah stayed firm upon the Deen of Musa throught her torture and martyrdom. Mariam had sabr when facing her peoples’ accusations and stayed firm throughout the tests she faced. Khadijah and Fatima endured the three-year boycott that was imposed on them and went through the persecution of Makkah and kept their Iman.
Lesson VI: We live in a time when we need Istiqamah. We need to stay true to the message of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) and not be tempted to water-down our Deen to appease other people. It will mean being patient and displeasing people sometimes, but ultimately we will have pleased Allah and He will give us success.
They had Tawakkul (Reliance Upon Allah)
When she was being persecuted for worshipping Allah, Aasiya’s reliance upon Allah made her stay firm upon Iman and not yield under the intense pressure. Fatima faced poverty and physical hardship after her marriage to Ali to the point that her hands became rough and her face changed colour due to the physically demanding work she was doing. Despite this she was not allowed to receive Zakah and was not granted a servant when she wanted one. Instead the Prophet taught her and Ali to say ‘Subhan Allah’ 33 times and ‘Alhamdulillah’ 33 times and ‘Allahu Akbar’ 34 times. He reminded them that Allah was the One who would make things easier for them so they should put all of their trust in Him. All four of the women persevered in the tests they faced due to their reliance upon Allah and knowledge that He would make their affairs right.
Lesson VII: We must learn to truly have tawakkul in Allah and trust that after we have done our bit, Allah will make everything turn out right as long as we are conscious of Him.
They had Zuhd (were not attached to the life of this world)
The Prophet (saw) once told Fatima to remove the gold bangles she was wearing as he wanted to teach her not to desire this life. She immediately removed the bangles and gave them away in charity. Khadijah spent her wealth in supporting the Da’wah during the Makkan period, she gave up her status as one of the most noble and esteemed women of the Quraysh in order to stand by the Prophet.
Aasiya could have had a life of luxury as she was married to the richest and most powerful man in the world. She gave up the material delights she could have enjoyed if she complied with Pharaoh’s wishes. Yet she chose what was with Allah over this worldly life.
Lesson VIII: We must be willing to give up all we have for the sake of Allah. We must avoid joining in the race to have the best and latest commodities and realise that what is with Allah is so much more
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Leaders of Women of Paradise

Posted in Labels: | at 11:06 AM
The best women are those who attain the Paradise of delights. The women of Paradise are of different grades, and the leaders of the women of Paradise are Khadijah, Fatimah, Maryam (Mary), and Aasiyah. Imam Ahmad reported with an authentic chain of narration that the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) drew four lines and said to the Companions,
“Do you know what these are?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “The best women of the women of Paradise are Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, Fatimah bint Muhammad, Maryam bint `Imran, and Aasiyah bint Muzahim (the wife of the Pharaoh).”
Maryam and Khadijah are the best of the four. Imam Al-Bukhari narrated from `Ali ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said,
“The best of its women is Maryam and the best of its women is Khadijah.”
Maryam Bint `Imran
Maryam is the “First Lady,” the best of all women. At-Tabarani reported from Jabir that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,
“The leaders , after Maryam bint `Imran, of the women of Paradise will be Fatimah, Khadijah, and Aasiyah the wife of the Pharaoh.”
The reason why Maryam is considered to be the best of all women is clearly stated in the Qur’an,
[Behold! The angels said, "O Maryam! Allah has chosen you and purified you and preferred you above the women of all nations."] (Aal `Imran 3:42)
How could she not be the best of women when Almighty Allah has clearly stated,
[And her Lord accepted her with a goodly acceptance and made her to grow in a good manner]. (Aal `Imran 3:37)
These four women are beautiful examples of perfect, righteous women. Maryam bint `Imran is praised by Allah in the Qur’an,
[Maryam, daughter of `Imran, whose body was chaste, so We [Allah] breathed therein something of Our Spirit. And she put faith in the words of her Lord and His scriptures, and she was of the obedient.] (At-Tahrim 66:12)
Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid
Khadijah As-Siddiqah (the true believer) believed in the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) without hesitation; she consoled him and supported him in every way. Her Lord gave her the good news, during her lifetime, of a palace in Paradise in which there would be no noise and no exhaustion.
Al-Bukhari reported from Abu Hurairah: “Jibreel came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, Khadijah is coming to you carrying a tray of food and drink. When she comes to you, convey to her greetings of peace from her Lord and from me, and give her glad tiding of a house in Paradise in which there is neither noise nor confusion.”
Aasiyah the Pharaoh’s Wife
Aasiyah, the wife of the Pharaoh, despised the power and luxuries of this world and rejected the Pharaoh and his false claims of divinity, so her husband tortured her until her soul departed and returned to its Creator.
[And Allah sets forth an example for those who believe: The wife of Pharaoh when she said,"My Lord! Build for me a home with you in the Garden, and deliver me from Pharaoh and his doing, and deliver me from evil-doing folk] (At-Tahrim 66:11)
Fatimah Bint Muhammad
Fatimah Az-Zahraa’, the daughter of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), was patient and forbearing, and she feared Allah. She was like her father in every way, even his walk. She learned from his manners and abided by his commands.
It is reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Fatimah is a part of me, and what hurts her hurts me” (Muslim). She was a branch from the pure tree, brought up by the educator of humanity himself (peace and blessings be upon him).
Source:
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The Status of Women

Posted in Labels: | at 10:34 AM
Imagine a person who manufactured two models of a certain item. Model 'A' has much more features than model 'B'. The reasons for him doing so are obviously known best by him. Being the inventor, he will specify the exact usage and benefits of model 'A' and model 'B'.
Likewise, Allah Ta'ala created man and woman, both in different capacities. He sent a kitab explaining the different roles and functions of each one. The reason for doing so is known best by Allah, The Supreme, Perfect and Most wise, and none has the authority to question His decision.

HONOUR
Both man and woman are equal with regard to respect, honour, reward etc. In fact, Islam has given women such an honour, that an entire chapter of the Holy Quran has been dedicated to them. Not only did Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) intercede on their behalf, even Almighty Allah Ta'ala Himself has commanded men to be kind to them. In fact, Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has declared: "The best among you is the one who is best to his wife".

DIFFERENCE
However, it is a reality that men and women are not identical. There definitely exists a difference between them. One possible reason for such a difference is to enable a harmonious, loving and lasting bond between husband and wife. Had both been identical in every respect, this would be an impossible task. This difference is not only restricted to a man and woman. Rather in every sphere of life; be it wealth, power, respect etc. there always exists a difference between people. This is the divine wisdom of Allah Ta'ala. Otherwise, there would have been total mayhem and confusion in the world.

DESTRUCTION
Indeed, it is due to having disregarded the separate roles of men and women that Europe, America and other westernised countries are witnessing the destruction of their societies. Broken families, abandoned children, single parents, morally deprived children, suicides are all a direct result of the man-made concoction of 'gender equality'. What our creator; Almighty and All Wise Allah Ta'ala had designed to be a harmonious pair, has been reduced to two equal counterparts, both fighting for dominance, with the children bearing the brunt of the fight and the woman often becoming a mental wreck in the process.

FARCE
When the differences between man and woman are as evident as broad daylight, the advocators of women liberation are only fooling themselves. Which professional sports team in the entire world has half males and half females? Which army in the world has exactly the same number of women as men fighting in the front line of the battlefield? Have we ever wondered why there never was a boxing or wrestling match where a man contested a woman? Why is it considered chivalrous for a man to open the door for his wife and not vice versa? The list of examples can go on... All the above clearly 'shouts out' that, "Gender equality is a farce!"

LIBERATION?
In Western society it is regarded as cruel and unjust for a woman to be left at home to take care of household chores. To prepare meals for her husband and children is regarded as something 'against equality'. To clean the house is slavery. Funny enough, the champions of this so called 'liberation' have absolved women from these acts of slavery, only to enslave them into cooking and serving food in restaurants, as air hostesses on aircrafts and as cleaners in hotels. That woman who was the Queen of her home, is dragged out of her home, undressed, made to slog, forced to put up with dirty looks and advances and compelled to tolerate many other injustices just to fill the pockets of her employer in the name of liberation? According to statistics, the majority of working women in the United States have been harassed by their male bosses. Is this any kind of liberation???

EVILS
Let us take a cursory glance at some of the evils that the fallacy of gender equality has bred:

  1. Instead of improving the quality of life for women, it has only turned life into a misery for them. Added responsibilities, extended working hours, abuse, etc. has made their life chaotic.
  2. Broken marriages: Countless marriages have broken down or are on the verge of breaking down. While there are many reasons for the escalating rate of divorce, a major contributing factor is the unnatural situation brought about by the notion of gender equality.
  3. Delinquent children: Since both parents no longer have any time for their children, they have no direction, system or values in life.
  4. Harassment and rape.
  5. Total destruction of society: Individuals make up a society. The "gender equality" farce has led to various social ills, among which is the degeneration of morals. Once morals are completely eroded, the society is destroyed.

SUPPORT
No matter how educated or affluent a woman may be, she still requires the support of a man. This is the system of Allah Ta'ala. Allah Ta'ala says in the Quran, "They (your wives) are an outer garment for you and you are an outer garment, (a covering) for them". Just as a man needs a woman for his comfort and solace, similarly every woman is dependant upon and requires the support of a man. This is also necessitated by the fact that a woman is weaker than a man.

THE BEAUTY OF ISLAM
Our Deen is not the invention of any human. It is Divine. Therefore, every injunction is perfect and complete. It is absolutely flawless. The commands are in perfect harmony with the nature of man. As long as they are adhered to, there will be no problems of this nature. Let us examine the conditions of society prior to the forged farce of gender equality. Every woman was happy and living a comfortable life. Their respect was not at stake. They were not reduced to commercial advertising material or public property, free to every person. Children grew up healthy and with good values. Society consisted of good, upright and honest people. Marriages breaking up were almost not heard of. Even among non Muslims, fornication was frowned upon. In our beautiful Deen, in many cases, women are at an advantage compared to men. Many deeds are such, that women receive equal reward compared to men, but with much lesser effort. However, Allah Ta'ala has divinely granted men authority over them. Together with that, Allah Ta'ala himself has instructed men to treat them kindly. Allah Ta'ala declares: "And men enjoy a superiority over women". In another verse, Allah Ta'ala says, "Men have been given authority over women". It is impossible that Allah Ta'ala and our kind, compassionate Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) would give any command which is unfair and unjust.
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Tips to a better Marriage

Posted in Labels: | at 4:47 AM

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (Ar Rum: 21)
In this article we have listed some points that may benefit those seeking an Islamic marriage, as well as, those who are already married. I do not pretend to be an expert of any kind. I have learned what I know through my married life.
* Be conscious of your physical appearance. No one was more conscious of this than the Prophet (Pbuh). His Sunnah reflects keen attention to personal hygiene and good grooming. He kept himself strong and muscular. Don‟t think that because you are married the task of looking good is over. You can't hide a weight problem under Thawbs' (dress) and long Khimars' (veils). Your mate knows. Be aware that you live in a society that places a high premium on physical appearance.
Temptations that beckon non-Muslims beckon Muslims as well. Don‟t allow your partner to get side-tracked. Jog, join a gym, swim and stay in shape. Insha' Allah, you will be more vibrant, more radiant, and more attractive to your spouse.
* Be a companion to your spouse. Try to show enthusiasm for your spouse‟s interests and hobbies. It is well-known that the Prophet would run races with 'Ayesha. By all means try to involve your spouse in your interests. Be active in Islamic community life. This will strengthen your commitment to Islam while providing your wish for a wholesome social outlet. Encourage your spouse to engage in activities that promote Islam. Have dinners at your home for Muslims. These activities will indirectly enhance the quality of your marriage.
* Admit your mistakes and have a forgiving, generous attitude when your spouse errors. This country is a difficult place to live in. Most Muslims fall short of the Islamic ideal. Contradictions abound. Be quick to admit your shortcomings and work to amend them. Be understanding when your spouse does not live up to the Islamic ideals and expectations and gently try to motivate him or her in the right direction.
* Have a sense of humour. Be able to chuckle at life's minor aggravations.
* Share household duties. Brothers, take note. This is especially important these days. The Prophet always helped his wives around the house and even mended his own clothes. Who knows? You might find you actually like preparing the evening meal or taking care of junior so your wife can have the afternoon off. The Messenger of Allah said, "The most perfect of the believers in faith is the best of them in moral excellence, and the best of you are the kindest of you to their wives" (at-Tirmidhi).
* Surprise each other with gifts. Treat her to an evening out alone, away from the children. There are no words to describe the lift this can give to a marriage.
* Communicate your feelings to one another, good and bad. Tell him how handsome he looks. Where there is disagreement, have an open discussion. Don 't collect red stamps. Nip it in the bud.
* Live within your means. Stay away from credit cards if you can. Sisters, take note. Don't envy the possessions of your friends, and belittle your husband because he can't provide them for you. Muslim couples will do well to stay away from ostentatious living. The Prophet did not live this way, neither should you.
* Respect your spouse‟s need for privacy. A quiet time to oneself, either at home or away from home, each day can make a disagreeable person agreeable.
* Don't share personal problems with others. There are a few exceptions to this rule, but if you must discuss personal problems, make sure it is with a person in whom you have the utmost confidence. If you have a learned Muslim brother or sister in your community, seek him or her out first.
* Be sensitive to your spouse‟s moods. If you want to share a personal achievement, don't do it when your spouse is 'down in the dumps „. Wait for the proper time.
You may be saying to yourself, "This is easier said than done." Well, you're right. A successful marriage doesn't just happen. It's not simply a matter of luck or finding the right person. It takes hard work and determination. It means being selfless and making mistakes. It means having vengeance on your mind but forgiveness in your heart. But, then, its perfection is "half of faith".
"Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead righteous." (Qur'an, 25:74)
"The whole world is an asset and the best asset is a good wife." (Muslim)
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Is Your Home A Garden of Paradise

Posted in Labels: | at 10:43 PM
Is Your Home A Garden of Paradise
Paradise is a dwelling free from all types of difficulties and calamities, surrounded by peace, comfort and tranquillity. If all these qualities are found in one single home then we can agree that it is a garden of Paradise in this world. Remember! Happiness, contentment and gratification in the home solely lies on the shoulders of the husband & wife, and only achieved if the relationship between husband & wife are ethical together with the Tarbiyyah of the children (i.e. the education and upbringing)
 Advice For The Husband
 From time to time, present gifts to the wife. This will please her very much. When distressed or in illness don‟t ignore her or make a face. This will upset her; instead discuss the problem with her so that you may resolve it together.
 Always express your love to her and value it, therein lies the joy of life.
 Never scold or show anger towards her in front of others, she will remember it for the rest of her life.
 Never praise or describe the beauty and character of another woman to her face, she will feel disgraced and a sense of guilt.
 Never be unforthcoming and reserved, this will create doubt and uncertainty in her heart.
Never make offensive and derogatory remarks; eventually she will become careless of your likes and dislikes.
 Never see her as only a “mother of my children” she will detest you and become callous.
 Don‟t always be stubborn in proving your point but also listen to the wife.
 Never talk to her in such a way that she feels you are hiding something, this will irritate and annoy her a great deal.
 When making a promise to her, fulfil it. A Muslim never breaks a promise.
 If the wife is not knowledgeable or educated, do not scorn her, it will not resolve the dilemma at hand, Instead make arrangements for her education.
 Never keep mentioning your capabilities or force your arrogance on her, she will sooner or later think of you as a madman. Remember, self praise is no praise.
 Never portray yourself as always wealthy or never in need of money. Tell her the truth so she may spend the money wisely and accordingly.
 If the wife likes to see you dressed in decent clothing, then present yourself in such a manner. Inappropriate presentation can cause problems.
 Never be patronising or condescending towards the wife. She is not your student or disciple.
Advice For The Wife
When the Husband enters the house, greet him with a smile and admonish him to do salaam, so that love and blessings engulf the house. 
 If the Husband comes home late at night, do not become upset and distant. Give him a chance to explain himself. 
 Don‟t open the book of complaints as soon as he enters the house. 
 Inform the Husband of the children‟s well being so that he may do their Tarbiyyah consequently. 
 Never deceive your Husband in money related matters; he may say nothing though aware of it. 
 Don‟t make useless conversations, if he is silent he maybe troubled therefore try pleasing him. 
 If the Husband is busy in some work, do not bother him by interfering or interrupting. 
 Do not be extravagant. Never force him to earn more money for futile materialism and greed. E.g.: expensive jewellery, clothes, shoes etc. 
 Never praise or describe the beauty and character of another man. 
 Do not abuse him verbally, physically or to others in his absence. 
 Do not be doubtful or do any action to make him doubt you. 
 Be responsible in making sure his clothes are always clean. Do not let him leave the house with dirty clothes.
Advice For Husband and Wife
 Help one another in the matters of Deen and be a supporting pillar in matters of the world.
 Be forgiving, understanding, helpful and patient towards each other.
 Have a big heart. Have a clean heart.
 Respect each other‟s parents. Treat them as your own.
 Do not fight verbally or physically (especially in front of your children)
 Do not make your home a battle ground for debates. This has a very bad consequence on the children.
 Always consult one another frequently regarding the well being of your children especially in matters pertaining to marriage, earning halaal, abstaining from Haraam etc.
 Always make dua to Allah to stay steadfast on Deen and remain Husband & Wife till your last breath.
 Make a system of taleem and tarbiyyah daily or once a week in your home, the survival of Deen and blessings in your home depend on it.
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Become an A+ Daughter in Law

Posted in Labels: | at 11:30 AM
Become an A+ Daughter in Law
Learning how to be a great daughter in law can be easier than you think. If you want to build a good
relationship with your mother in law, read on... and you may be saying "I love you" sooner than you think!
These tips could give you a great relationship with your mother in law.
Be clear and honest with your mother in law about your needs and desires.
Gracefully and humbly admit it if you've made a mistake.
Respect your mother in law's opinions, wisdom, age, and experience.
Let your husband, discuss big issues with her. As the daughter in law, stand back
Call your mother in law just to say Assalamu Alaykum or How are you Mum.
Be considerate of health concerns of your mother in law, such as depression, ill health, and fears of
aging. A great daughter in law cares about other people's health. others' desires.
Ask your mother in law to join your world! Invite her to take a walk, or to an Islamic Lectures
Show respect and compassion to your mother in-law even when you don't feel like it.
Pay attention to your mother in law's needs and wishes. A great daughter in law considers ,
Accept that personality conflicts happen, and learn to live with differences of opinion.
                             DONT’S
Don’t tell mother in law jokes unless they're positive.
Don’t offer excuses or rationalizations to your mother in-law.
Don’t get drawn into arguments, debates or screaming matches.
Don’t let little things bother you.
Don’t expect your mother in law and husband to read your mind.
Don’t be afraid to apologize. A great daughter in law says "I'm sorry, I was wrong,"
Don’t expect an apology from your mother in-law in return. Building a good relationship with your
mother in law requires no expectations.
Don’t let your mother in law's assessment of you change your self-perspective as a daughter in law or
woman. You can't control what others think; you can only be who you are and live up to your own
standards.
Don’t be rude, critical, or overly sensitive to your mother in law.
Don’t criticize your in laws in front of your children. Building a good relationship with your mother in-law
means that you don't cut others down.
Being a great daughter in law means being yourself. Building a good relationship with your mother in law
can supersede even your own mother-daughter bond - and it can even outlast your marriage. May
Allahgive us the ability to live in peace and harmony with our in-laws.
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Become an A+ Mother in Law

Posted in Labels: | at 9:39 PM

Become an A+ Mother in Law                       Treat your daughter-in-law like your own daughter. This will help you bond a loving relationship that is sure to last.
When you arrive at her home, tell her you came to see her. Ignore any mess, it's unimportant.
Touch her, hug her. Remember she is now your daughter and try your utmost to treat her as such.
Confide in her like a mother would normally confide in a daughter.
Respect her. If she happens to be a mother, tell her what a wonderful mother she is. No one ever gets tired of hearing sincere compliments. Do compliment her and say "Jazakallah"
Surprise her with little gifts that you know she will like. Try to look for something for her just like you do for your own children.
Ask her for her views as often as possible on matters. Mothers-in-law must accord daughters-in-law the privilege of understanding them. Whenever possible allow her to participate in the decision making pertaining to family matters.
Talk with her, often in private if that is possible. Sit down and have a conversation with your daughter-in-law.
Try not to give advice ALL the time unless it is asked for, although that may be difficult. Try to be supportive and helpful but not intrusive. Offer support but don't push.
Nothing makes daughters-in-law more crazy than a mother-in-law needing to know every minute detail about what they are doing. "How much oil did you use in the food, and how much." etc. etc.
Look for the good in her. Don't look for the flaws. Nobody is perfect and no-one marries a perfect being.
Try to be interested in the feelings of your daughter-in-law. Try to show interest in her well-being, also. Try to show her the same attention and make her feel loved and wanted.
Be a good listener, sometimes that is all what your daughter-in-law wants.
Encourage her husband (your son) to help with the household chores.
Do not be insistent on them to visit. Do not expect them to spend every holiday or weekend with you. Sometimes they just would like to have a holiday or spend time on their own.
When you call them, if your daughter-in-law answers; talk to her and hold a conversation then ask to speak to your son.
Don’t insist to be included in their plans. If they want to include you they will.
Part of the problem between mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws is about "control". Marriage in Islam is a legal, binding contract between your son and your daughter-in-law.
Avoid back-biting. Remember you have gained another daughter who would appreciate your motherly help, encouragement and support.
Look for things you have in common. The most important is that you BOTH love your son (her husband) and want what's best for him.
Your daughter-in-law will most likely do things differently than you. If it bothers you, just smile and bear it.
Show your love openly in order to be loved.
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I lost Khallad, but not my shame

Posted in Labels: | at 9:45 PM
Hazrat Muhammad Ibne Sabit Ibne Kayes Ibne Simas (RA) said, “On the day of Banu Kurayza war an Ansari Sahabi named Khallad (RA) got martyred. His mother was sent the message. Someone said to her, “O Umme Khallad! Khallad has got martyred.” Umme Khallad (RA) got out wearing her Niqab. Someone astonishingly said to her, “In such worry and trouble you wear the niqab, i.e. hadn’t left it out!” She answered, “I lost Khallad, but not my shame.” Hayatus Sahaba (RA)
How easily today in worldly situations our Iman becomes weak and we become relaxing and negligence in good deeds. At those moments of sluggishness toward good deeds we should exert force against our nafs. A Muslim must pass each and every day by pondering on his life – his deeds and doings, his lifestyle and his relation with Allah Taala and His Rasool Sallallahu Alahyhi wa Sallam. For this reason, reading the life of the Sahaba (RA) is a must.
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Peace and Tranquility

Posted in Labels: | at 11:14 AM



To get Deen and love to obey Allah and His Rasul (s) , we must have conviction  for Allah in our heart .For this we must spent sometime everyday . Think about the greatness of Allah and talk about Allah ,That He can do Everything.Our life and death,our effort ,our study , our sustenance ,all things depend on Allah only. Everyday spent sometimes in the Zikr of Allah and don`t miss any salat.And also spent sometime to make du`a to Allah , ask Him all your needs , depends only on Him. Nobody can do any benefit or any harm without His permission
            Just as we regard Salaah, Fasting, Zakaat and Haj as Fardh (compulsory), so too is it Fardh to lover Allah Ta'ala and Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). That degree of love is compulsory, which would keep a person away from the disobedience and displeasure of Allah Ta'ala and His Beloved Messenger, Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), and which would cause one to fulfil all the commandments of Allah Ta'ala, for His Pleasure alone.
            Most of the love and friendship expressed these days is nothing but politics and diplomacy, cheat, deceit and hypocrisy. Befriend a person for the Pleasure of Allah and for the sake of Deen. This friendship, which is not for material benefit, will not only last until Death, but will even continue into Jannat (Paradise)."beneficial for you; seek the aid of Allah; do not lose courage and if a setback overtakes you, do not say : ‘If I had done this then it would have happened like this (i.e. not what had happened).’Instead say : ‘Allah has ordained this. Whatever He has willed, has happened.
                    Look at the 'Ni'mats (bounties) which Allah Ta'ala has bestowed upon us. There can be no price tag attached to any one of them. Our speech, sight, hearing, intelligence, etc. are invaluable gifts. Develop the love of Allah Ta'ala by pondering over these gifts bestowed upon us, without our deserving them and increase the Love of Allah Ta'ala until in everything the Qudrat of Allah is seen.
                
            If we look at the world today, the tribulations, the trials, and every war that we have, we will see that every bit of human suffering is rooted in human hearts. The reason people are aggressive against other people is due to diseases of the heart: covetousness, the desire to conquer, the desire to exploit other people, and the desire to steal their natural resources are all from diseases of the heart. A sound heart cannot commit such acts. Every murderer, every rapist, every idolater, every fowl person, every person showing an act of cruelty has a diseased heart because these actions emanate from diseased hearts. If the hearts were sound, none of these actions would be a reality. Therefore, if we wish to change our world, we cannot go about it by attempting to rectify the outward; rather, we change the world by rectifying the inward because it is the inward that precedes the outward. 
Allah subhana wa ta'ala has created man, and in this man He has placed the nafs. From time to time the nafs of person leads him to commit sins. Every time a person commits a sin he should seek Allah's forgiveness and should not get upset or disillusioned with himself and say "I don't think I can fight my desires, so I shall not even bother." This is what Shaytan likes to hear and it is thoughts like this that eventually take .
On the other hand when a person turns sincerely to Allah in repentance, regretting his actions, Allah subhana wa ta'ala forgives all of his sins. It is for this reason that a person should continue to do as many good deeds as he possibly can.
A person should not leave Salaah because of his sins, he should not leave dhikr because he thinks that he is too much of a sinner to be doing something like that and must not stop attending the gatherings of dhikr where his Shaykh is present. Sitting in the company of the friends of Allah is one of the greatest things that a person can have in his life.
For it is through this company that the yaqeen (certainty) of a person increases. He truly realises that whatever Allah has said in the Qur'an is true and that the only way a person can succeed is by following in the footsteps of Allah's Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
If a person is determined to continue worshipping Allah and acquire the company of the friends of Allah then eventually the amount of sins he commits will decrease and disappear provided he has the right intention.
If a person gives up and listens to Shaytaan, he will as it says in the Qur'an begin to worship his desires and will do whatever Shaytaan tempts him to do. When he leaves Alllah's worship in favour of committing sins without any feeling of remorse or guilt afterwards then that person should consider that he is heading for the Fire.
So it would seem foolish to miss out on the opportunities that Allah provides for us to seek His pleasure and make for ourselves a better Hereafter.
There is no peace in disobedience to Allah . We may collect all the wealth of the world but we will not find peace in that.Look the people of the world (those who make effort only for wealth and position ) . They have unlimited wealth,the best education possible and all door to pleasure wide open. Inspite of that they need tranquilisers and sleeping pills to find some rest . They lack peace of heart . They cannot sleep because peace cannot be found in sin and disobedience . Peace lies only in the obedience of Allah and His messenger (s) .Allah give peace only to those who love Him , whose heart ramember Him.Although they live a life of worry ,their hearts are at peace . They may face poverty and want but their hearts are content and comfortable . If we wish to have comfort in this world then we will have to give up disobedience and sin .
                                     From Ihsan Buxsoo
                                      http://ihsan-buxsoo.blogspot.com/ 


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Advice To Fathers: Choosing A Husband For Ones Daughter

Posted in Labels: | at 9:57 AM

A man asked Hasan Ibn ‘Alee, “I have a daughter and people have proposed to her, so to whom should I marry her?“
He said, “Marry her to one who fears Allaah, for if her loves her, he will honor her; and of he hates her, he will not wrong her.“
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A Mother's Advice to Her Daughter

Posted in Labels: | at 11:41 AM

Abd al-Malik (Radiyallaahu 'anhaa) said: "When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, as she was made ready to be taken to the groom, her mother, Umamah came into her room to advise her and said:
  • "O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.
  • "O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father's wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.
  • "O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.
  • "Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you:
  • "The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one's husband pleases Allah.
  • "The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be
    found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.
  • "The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.
  • "The seventh and eight of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.
  • "The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be
    filled with hatred towards you.
  • "Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make him unhappy.
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