Become an A+ Mother in Law
Become an A+ Mother in Law Treat your daughter-in-law like your own daughter. This will help you bond a loving relationship that is sure to last.
When you arrive at her home, tell her you came to see her. Ignore any mess, it's unimportant.
Touch her, hug her. Remember she is now your daughter and try your utmost to treat her as such.
Confide in her like a mother would normally confide in a daughter.
Respect her. If she happens to be a mother, tell her what a wonderful mother she is. No one ever gets tired of hearing sincere compliments. Do compliment her and say "Jazakallah"
Surprise her with little gifts that you know she will like. Try to look for something for her just like you do for your own children.
Ask her for her views as often as possible on matters. Mothers-in-law must accord daughters-in-law the privilege of understanding them. Whenever possible allow her to participate in the decision making pertaining to family matters.
Talk with her, often in private if that is possible. Sit down and have a conversation with your daughter-in-law.
Try not to give advice ALL the time unless it is asked for, although that may be difficult. Try to be supportive and helpful but not intrusive. Offer support but don't push.
Nothing makes daughters-in-law more crazy than a mother-in-law needing to know every minute detail about what they are doing. "How much oil did you use in the food, and how much." etc. etc.
Look for the good in her. Don't look for the flaws. Nobody is perfect and no-one marries a perfect being.
Try to be interested in the feelings of your daughter-in-law. Try to show interest in her well-being, also. Try to show her the same attention and make her feel loved and wanted.
Be a good listener, sometimes that is all what your daughter-in-law wants.
Encourage her husband (your son) to help with the household chores.
Do not be insistent on them to visit. Do not expect them to spend every holiday or weekend with you. Sometimes they just would like to have a holiday or spend time on their own.
When you call them, if your daughter-in-law answers; talk to her and hold a conversation then ask to speak to your son.
Don’t insist to be included in their plans. If they want to include you they will.
Part of the problem between mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws is about "control". Marriage in Islam is a legal, binding contract between your son and your daughter-in-law.
Avoid back-biting. Remember you have gained another daughter who would appreciate your motherly help, encouragement and support.
Look for things you have in common. The most important is that you BOTH love your son (her husband) and want what's best for him.
Your daughter-in-law will most likely do things differently than you. If it bothers you, just smile and bear it.
Show your love openly in order to be loved.
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